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Goodnight, Midnight
Plot Who will win the cooking contest? What does Darla have planned against Midnight Blaze? Why the hell is Queen Laet back? Who will Wednesday kill tonight? Why am I asking you all these questions? Transcript (THE COOKING CONTEST) (Charlotte, Madelene, & Scarlet are at their booth.) Madelene: (to Charlotte) Are the judges eating our food yet? Charlotte: (watching the judges with a pair of binoculars) Eeyup! They just started digging in. Madelene: (whimpers) I hope they enjoy it. (Over at Midnight Blaze’s booth, Midnight Blaze is relaxing in her chair while eating a candy apple with her two friends.) Midnight Blaze: (takes a bite and swallows) Oh man; I wish I had these more often. Magenta Girl: Dylan, aren’t you a little bit worried right now? Midnight Blaze: Why would I be worried? Magenta Girl: I think that French Café might win! (looks through binoculars) They made a hot beverage for the judges. Midnight Blaze: …So? Dark Blue Girl: SO?! Any restaurant that makes their own hot beverage gets extra points! Midnight Blaze: (wide eyes) …What?! Since when did they post a shitty rule like that?! Dark Blue Girl: Uhh, pretty much ever since they got enough restaurants to enter. (Midnight Blaze bangs her head against the desk.) Midnight Blaze: (trying not to swear out loud) Ssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh… (ONE HOUR LATER) (Charlotte is at the back of the audience, clapping as she watches Madelene & Scarlet dancing around in joy as they receive their trophy for first place. Charlotte walks over to Midnight Blaze.) Charlotte: Well, we made a deal. Where’s the check? (After some hesitation, Midnight Blaze gives Charlotte the one thousand dollar check.) Charlotte: (grins'')'' Domo arigatou, shithead. (Charlotte is suddenly pushed up against the wall.) Midnight Blaze: (pissed off) Okay, bitch! You’re hiding something! What is it?! Charlotte: Sheesh! Ya don’t need to shout. Midnight Blaze: You did something to make me lose! What was it?! Charlotte: Hey! I’ve been playing fair! Well, except I got some little girl to make some perfect hot cocoa for me. Midnight Blaze: Why would a— (realizes who she meant) Ohhhhhh that bitch! (lets go of Charlotte and leaves) Charlotte: Heh. Whatever. I still won. (Later that night, Midnight Blaze is shown stomping down the street, constantly cursing as she is about to walk past Wednesday, who is sitting on a bench with her hood and cape on.) Wednesday: Hmm…almost midnight. Full moon is out… Maybe the Moondrop flowers will be at the lake tonight. (Midnight Blaze then passes her, catching Wednesday’s attention.) Wednesday: Umm, hello? (MB stops and glares at her) Uhh…what are you doing out here? Y-You know, th-this late at night. Midnight Blaze: Does it matter what I’m doing right now? Wednesday: Well, I’m just…curious, ‘cause, wellll…, I don’t think I’ve seen a teenager out here this late before. Midnight Blaze: (storms up to her) Well bitch, you better stay out of this. I’ve had a really frustrating night, and if I need to have another— (stares at her face) Wait a minute… Aren’t you one of the guys who went with me to that witch’s tent? Wednesday: I believe so. I did recognize you somewhere. That’s why I was curious. Midnight Blaze: Huh…in that case, could you show me her tent? (close up on her eyes as she glares) I have some business to take care of with her. Wednesday: …Oh yeah. She kind of said something about it. You’re the one who threatened to kill some of her friends, right? Midnight Blaze: (scoffs) I WAS FUCKING JOKING! Does she really think I’m some murderer?! I hardly even know her friends, or even know where they live. Wednesday: Well, she sounded like you were being serious with her. Midnight Blaze: (sighs) Look; I’m only going over to her place to warn her next time. Not! Kill! Anyone! Wednesday: Well, I suppose I should come with you. Since you guys aren’t exactly friends, talking with her alone probably won’t help convince her much. Midnight Blaze: You’ve gotta point. (pulls out her skateboard) Jump on. Wednesday: But, I don’t have a helmet. Midnight Blaze: Pfft! You’re no fun. (skates off as Wednesday follows behind) (At Darla’s tent, MB gets off her skateboard and looks at the tent’s entrance. As Wednesday finally catches up, MB picks up a note off the ground in front of the tent.) Midnight Blaze: (reads) Yo Dar, you’ve been invited to hang out at the park’s abandoned tree house. Hurray! Please come here at midnight for a special surprise, but make sure you bring sweets. Lots and lots of sweets. Perhaps some strawberry shortcake and brownies would be nice. Love, Kari. P.S. – Bring some macarons too. Those are tasty. (stops reading) What the hell? Why would Kari invite her to an abandoned treehouse? Wednesday: Isn’t Kari one of those bullies you beat up almost every day? (gasps silently and pauses) (whispers) Wait a minute… (closes her eyes as she tries to have a flashback) Midnight Blaze: (not noticing Wednesday) She’s the only one I don’t beat up. (voice fades as does the screen as Wednesday’s flashback starts) She doesn’t even harm anyone. I mean, yeah, she and her friend blew up our home, but really she… (In Wednesday’s flashback from Today is Wednesday, it shows Darla talking to her.) Darla: When I came to the tree house I was invited to via note, three of her friends were there, but not her. They told me it was too late, right before pointing to a corner of the tree house, where three— Wednesday: Okay. I-I think I get it. (End of flashback) Midnight Blaze: (waving her arm in Wednesday’s face) Hello? Earth to Goth chick; come in, please. Wednesday: …We need to go to the tree house…fast. (The Tree House) (Midnight Blaze climbs up the ladder to enter the tree house. As Wednesday catches up from behind her, MB sees Katorou, Rei, and looking back at her smiling, with Darla kneeling down on the floor.) Midnight Blaze: (facepalms) Oh come on! Katorou: Oh! Dylan! Nice to see ya. Rei: No need to deal with this witch anymore, Dylan. We did the job for you. (giggles maniacally) Midnight Blaze: (rushes towards Darla and kneels down next to her) Listen up! I was fucking kidding when I said I’d kill your friends if you helped my opponent win. Yes; I would still be pissed, (points to three body bags soaked in blood) but I did not plan any of that. (turns to Katorou & Rei) How did you even find all those guys? Katorou: Well, (shows his cellphone picture and Broseph’s wallet) let’s just say there are some advantages to being held hostage as long as the boss is arguing with the most dangerous minion. Rei: (pointing at the wallet) And beating up stupid sweaty guys. Besides, it’s the witch’s fault for fucking up, (smirks at Darla) isn’t it? (Everything is silent as Wednesday makes it inside. Then, Darla snickers, confusing everyone. Her snickers get louder as they suddenly turn into a maniacal laughter.) Darla: (tries to stop laughing) Ohhhhh Midnight! (points to the bullies) These guys are total snobs! Midnight Blaze: (laughs) Total what? Katorou: The hell are you laughing about?! Your friends are dead! Darla: WRONG! They’re on vacation! (takes out a brochure) To the newest, famous, Hotel Crumpet! The perfect place for villains to take a lovely break. And for virgins to get laid. Rei: …Are you fucking serious? Darla: Of course I am! I wouldn’t kid about something like this! Besides, (points to Wednesday) it was her idea. Wednesday: …It was? Katorou & Rei: (giving Wednesday death glares) It was, huh? Darla: (nods) Uh-huh! She gave me the idea to hide them somewhere. I couldn’t possibly lock them in their basements, so, I sent them away. Wednesday: (staring worryingly at Katorou & Rei, who are still glaring at her) Darla, please stop saying things. Kari: (picking up a body bag) But, if we didn’t kill her friends, then who did we kill? (Kari empties each bag, revealing the bodies to be Mr. Dingleberry (who is painted grey), a random bulter, and Maroon (also painted grey).) Kari: …Oh… Oh shit! Katorou: Welp, this is embarrassing. Darla: And it looks like I’m the winner here, Dylan! Midnight Blaze: Uhh, yeah, whatever. Darla: I thank you for your precious service. Beat you fair and square! Midnight Blaze: (slightly annoyed) Okay! I get it. Darla: I wouldn’t act so cool if I were you. (points to the dead bodies) Your attack missed. It’s my turn now. Wednesday and the Bullies: Huh?! Midnight Blaze: …Was that a Pokémon reference? Because that wasn’t a good one. Darla: (smirking) Aren’t you at least worried? You will be the first to die! (takes out a spell book) Under the newest spell that I’ve learned! With this book, I’ve learned the spell that can summon any creature of my choosing. And, BOY do you get a special creature for your death! Wednesday: Look! Darla! If you could just listen for a— Darla: Not now, Wednesday! So, Dylan, prepare to run… Midnight Blaze: …Alright. Go for it. Wednesday and the Bullies: Huh? Midnight Blaze: Hey let’s face it. (to the bullies) She got you guys pretty good. And, well, I really shouldn’t have threatened you in the first place, Darla. (sighs) I’m sorry I made that threat about killing your friends and making you cry. If you still wanna kill me, go right ahead. (turn to the bullies) Oh, and Kari, if I somehow come back to life later, you wanna go have a date at the chocolate park on Friday? Kari: (gasps) There’s a park made entirely out of chocolate?! You have my undivided attention and virginity! Katorou: Kari! Midnight Blaze: Alright then. (as she winks) 50/50 chance I’ll see your candy eating smile there. (to Darla) Well, let’s get this over with. Goodnight…Miss Universe Traveler. Darla: Goodnight…Dylan. (Darla hovers one hand over the book and text begins to glow. Behind MB, a vortex begins to open. MB looks turns to look at it, rather surprised. The sound of a monster roaring can be heard from inside, becoming louder as it comes closer to the opening. Before it could reach the opening though, a dark teal alien queen teleports into the treehouse.) Queen Laet: FUCK! I WAS SO CLOSE! Everyone else: Huh? Queen Laet: With Earl Grey out of the way, I would be another step closer to ruling this hideous Earth tons of years from now! Rei: Who are you?! Queen Laet: I’m Queen Laet, you Japanese whore! I was supposed to rule this planet years from now! But for that to happen, I had to eliminate some challenges that would interfere with that dream! First, Earl Grey and his shitty minions, then almost all of the villains whose name I can’t remember, and then Saigron! I was waiting for someone else to defeat all of those people, (to Wednesday, Darla, and MB) but thanks to you dipshits, I have to do all that myself! (Wednesday suddenly walks up to Queen Laet with her taser.) Wednesday: Trust me. It wouldn’t work out. (Wednesday electrifies Queen Laet until Laet falls to the floor. MB goes up and kneels down next to Laet’s body to check her pulse.) Midnight Blaze: Wow! I think you just killed her. Wednesday: …I did? Katorou: (looking at the taser) I think you had the settings on that thing too high. Kari: (eyes widening in horror) Maybe her heart was so bad it was weak against electricity. Wednesday: …Huh. (calmly smiling) I guess I can easily kill people after all. Darla: Well that’s good to hear… Say, Wednesday? Wednesday: Hmm? Darla: (looks down shyly) Would you…mind…speaking to me privately for a while? Wednesday: Uhh…sure. I won’t mind. (The two go out to talk, leaving the other four behind with the dead alien.) Katorou: What the fuck was all that about?! Kari: I dunno. Katorou: (groans in frustration) This country just gets more confusing! I cannot fucking wait to go back to Japan after it’s rebuilt. Rei: Me too. Everyone here is freaking crazy! Katorou: (sighs) Why did we even come here to begin with? Rei: Who knows, really. (as Katorou looks at her) But, hey, we didn’t kill who we wanted to kill, (wraps an arm around the back of his neck) but we killed some dudes, didn’t we? (Katorou blushes noticeably, then nods to Rei in agreement. Suddenly, the two feel someone’s hand on their shoulders.) Midnight Blaze: You two got some nerve trying to make a kid cry, don’t you? Katorou: (as he & Rei’s eyes widen in fear) Aw fuck… (Time lapse. Cuts to Wednesday & Darla now sitting on a huge tree branch together.) Darla: (shocked) So…wait…you saw me in an apocalyptic future?! Wednesday: (looking away from her) Yeah…that alien queen was Queen Laet. She took over the world in 2076, if I remember correctly. When I went out to rescue my brother after he was kidnapped by her, I saw you at the cemetery. You were visiting their graves…and you told me no one was there to help you get over it or mourn with you. I felt the same way before…so right before we went back here, I promised to you that I would help you save them, despite how much I hate two of them. Darla: You felt the same? (Wednesday nods and takes out a photo from her skirt. Darla looks at the photo and sees a younger version of Wednesday happily holding a black cat and a white bunny.) Darla: Aww! Are those your pets? Wednesday: They were. Their names were Gwendolyn and Miyuki. Darla: “Gwendolyn” the cat… (thinks) Please don’t tell me she had a dog named “Andrew”. (talking) So, what does this have to do with what you’re trying to tell me? Wednesday: When I was a toddler, the outside world scared me because of so many people being around. I was especially afraid of the animals in our woods because of the bears and wolves that lurked around at the time. So I ended up not going to any public schools, unlike my brother. Instead, I was educated at home. To try and help me get along with the animals before meeting people outside the woods, my parents brought home a cat and a rabbit. They were from the woods themselves, so they were already friendly with my family. We ended up keeping them as pets, and they were my first true friends ever…until I was eight. Darla: (thinks) Er...I hate it when story tellers add that extra “until” thing at the end of sentences. Wednesday: While I was inside writing, Gwendolyn and Miyuki were out playing in the yard with some of the other critters. I…I don’t remember exactly when it happened but…I heard a wolf nearby. (Darla cringes) Wednesday: I went outside to find out what was going on, but…I didn’t see any wolf…or Gwendolyn or Miyuki. Instead I…I saw two puddles of blood… Darla: Uh—…oh… Wednesday: My family tried to calm me down, but I couldn’t stop crying. After a while, they quit. Since I didn’t have any friends other than them, there was no one else to comfort me… So… (Darla sees that Wednesday is about to cry.) Darla: …If you don’t feel comfortable talking about it, you don’t need to continue. Wednesday: Th-Thank you. Darla: The only thing I’ve got to say is…I’m sorry for your loss. …Hey you know what? If it makes you feel better… Wednesday: What? (Wednesday hears Darla taking something out. She turns her head to see Darla writing something down on a piece of paper.) Wednesday: …What are you— (Darla shoves the paper close to Wednesday’s face.) Darla: (cheerful) Ta-dah! As my gift of gratitude for helping me, you are now officially my fourth best friend! Wednesday: (takes a look at the paper) Do you really need to rank your friends like this? Darla: Well, it’s supposed to be ranked from whom became my best friend first to most recent best friend. Wednesday: So, it doesn’t matter which number I am? Darla: Yep! You’re still special to me! (hugs Wednesday) (Wednesday looks at her before wrapping an arm around Darla and smiling peacefully.) (Back at the Tree House) (Midnight Blaze cracks her knuckles after a long beating session.) Midnight Blaze: Is that all you guys got? (Katorou & Rei are both lying on the ground, but still breathing. Rei gets up.) Rei: (in pain) Alright. You win… I gotta go… I have a date tonight. Katorou: (eyes widen) …What? Rei: Did I fucking stutter? I have a date tonight. (reaches the ladder) If you guys spy on me, you’re all dead! Got it? (After she is gone, Katorou sits up and sighs desperately.) Katorou: And here I thought we were finally going somewhere… She really has changed since she got into a relationship. She hardly ever bullies kids with us anymore. Midnight Blaze: Well, things change all the time. It just takes time to get used to it. It’s like… (looks down and sighs) It’s like when one of your parents dies or they move out… Know what I mean? Katorou: But I’ve known Rei since elementary school, and she was always bitchy to people. That’s what I liked about her! I have a thing for bitchy yet badass chicks with short tempers. When we started bullying in junior high, I really saw how awesome she was. I even thought that if I showed her how badass I can be, we would end up being more than just friends… (sighs and looks down) Guess it’s too late. It’s never gonna happen, isn’t it? She’d rather date a blood thirsty killing machine than a wimp. Kari: (sits down) (groans) You’re not a wimp, Otouto. You’re just sad because you and Orange killer man are way different when it comes to what you do for a living. Katorou: Not just that, Kari. I want the old Rei back! “Badass” was her title back in Japan. Whenever some pervert tried touching her tits, she would kick their asses until their bones broke like a window. Same thing goes for if someone tried to kidnap her. Now she’s just some love-bird who needs to be rescued by a handsome prince. Kari: (gasps) You mean like a character who is written out-of-character for the sake of a shipping fanfic?! Katorou: Exactly! Midnight Blaze: Well, maybe it’s because the bad guys in this country are different than the ones back home. They’re probably too powerful for her to handle on her own. Besides, I think it’s obvious enough that you’re just jealous of Rapper. Even Kagerou can see that herself. Katorou: Yeah… Yes, it’s obvious. I’m jealous; but there’s more than that. Rei’s like the new Princess Peach now, getting assaulted by bad guys and getting rescued all the fucking time, and… (sighs) I feel like everyone is getting a happy ending but me… Is this true? …Am I meant to be miserable? Midnight Blaze: Maybe… (grins) unless I give you steps to un-wimp yourself. I’d be willing enough to give ya a free workout. Katorou: Shut up. (Midnight Blaze looks away while rolling her eyes. Kari on the other hand just stares at Katorou with sad, sparkling eyes. The scene cuts to the right side of Kari, where her hands are starting to shake a little. After a moment, one hand clenches into a fist.) Kari: (does a high jump into the air with her fist higher up) ムーンプリズムパワーメイクアップ! Midnight Blaze & Katorou: Huh? Kari: (Japanese) Alright! No need to worry anymore, brother! As your sister, I will do the best I can to make Rei badass again and, more importantly, you happy again! Katorou: Pfft! (Japanese) Yeah right. How could I possibly rely on you? Kari: Silly Katorou. Have you forgotten? (points to herself) I’m your older twin! You have to trust me! Katorou: Oh sure. I have to trust someone who’s got a lower IQ than a fish. Kari: Not only that, but someone who will no doubt bring you and Rei-chan together! (runs to the exit and jumps out the door) Big Sister Kari to the rescue! (Suddenly Kari drops to the ground off-screen. Midnight Blaze & Katorou are still left in the tree house.) Katorou: (sighs) (English) This is going to get worse before it gets better. Midnight Blaze: Looks like we’re gonna have to wait and see. And besides, even if you don’t get Kagerou back, you can always jack off to Rule 34 of Taeko Yasuhiro. (Suddenly Katorou opens his eyes real quick and becomes real angry.) Katorou: Do! Not! Call! Her! TAEKO YASUHIRO! (Before Midnight Blaze could act, Katorou kicks her in the stomach, sending her into the wall behind them and a few pieces of wood fall off from the impact.) Katorou: (as MB can be heard coughing off-screen) Clean your damn ears out and listen up! Her real name is Celestia Ludenberg, (flips her off) bitch! (Katorou starts to stomp towards the exit. He is about an inch away from the ladder.) Midnight Blaze: (off-screen) Yasa…koro-kun—''(coughs)'' Katorou: (turns around) WHAT?! (As Zetsubousei: Hero Chiryouyaku starts to play, Midnight Blaze starts to lift her shaking arm. When it’s high enough, she gives Katorou a thumbs up sign.) Midnight Blaze: I think you…just finished Step One…of not becoming a wimp… (Katorou stares at her for a moment, and then he makes a surprisingly hopeful smile.) (The episode ends as the song continues playing.) Trivia *Queen Laet appears again, but this time she dies (permanently). The reason for her death was that she had a weak heart. *Katorou & Kari’s last name is revealed to be Yasakoro. *Katorou shows that he is slightly attracted to the fictional anime character Celestia Ludenberg from the game, "Dangan Ronpa". *Kari saying "ムーンプリズムパワーメイクアップ!" is Japanese for "Moon Prism Power Make-up!", a catchphrase from an anime called "Sailor Moon". Poll What do you think about this episode? 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